Yeah, that makes sense....
You see, my sister was pretty bi***y to just about everyone. When my mom would get really angry because my sister was throwing some kind of tantrum and totally disrespecting her as a person and as a parent, she would raise a hand like she was going to slap my sister (actually, our mother never even spanked us when we were little; my grandma was more likely to actually slap one of the grandchildren for smarting off. When my mom raised her hand, it was more like a hand signal for "shut up right now because you are crossing the line"), my sister would always say, "What, you gonna hit me??? DO IT!!! Then I can call the police for child abuse!"
(I personally think that my mother was too afraid to fight back against my sister- even just verbally- because she is EXACTLY like our father, and he was abusive too; so I think it was like my mom was still afraid of him when confronted by my sister).

My mom...... I love her dearly but..... she just never intervened when she was supposed to. She still doesn't. I can understand that she just doesn't have the moxy to be a harsh disciplinarian, but that doesn't excuse the way she handled things. She has always just said "It's just your sister's personality." and "Just ignore it and it'll go away."
But I don't know.... how it can be ignored when you are getting the crap beat outta you? I have always tried to walk away from my sister; but she always made a point of going after me, or yelling at me until I broke down and cried/apologized. Like I said before; I still feel immensely guilty for the mean things I said when I retaliated. After experiencing my own mental health issues for so long, I can now understand that hearing someone say you are "acting crazy" can really be upsetting. I know from having my own issues with eating (though not quite the same as her issues..... in any way) that having someone say "You may as well just flush the food down the toilet" can really be hurtful.

I guess that I still feel badly because, even though at the time I really didn't understand what was wrong, I still wasn't sensitive enough to her feelings and needs. And I know that this makes no logical sense for me to feel this way; at the time all of this was going on, I wasn't even taking care of myself or my needs and feelings. I know that, while I don't logically owe her anything, that I still feel like she owns me in a sense. It's nice to see that she has actually mellowed out a little since she had her son. But I feel bad because I myself am so emotionally disturbed now; and now, when I have any kind of serious confrontation with my sister and/or brother (my bro is in college, and in his arrogant "I know everything because I'm a college student" phase. He's not a threat so much as he's just plain old annoying lol), I find myself getting more emotional and arguing. I never really used to do that kind of thing; for many years, I took on the role of the submissive younger sister, and really just tried to keep silent when I was being "bullied". Now I feel bad, because all of these pent-up emotions are just coming out now..... and I worry that I don't have the right to express them. (again, I know this isn't logical.... but it's still something I worry about.)

I don't know if you or anyone else who reads this can relate to the feeling that you have no right to express yourself. It's still a little comforting to see that there is at least someone else out there that has had a similar issue
(P.S.- Thanks for the reassurance! I hope to hear more from you in the future.)