That's a good question, Jennie...I don't think "traumatize" is too strong a word for how I feel.
I associate my sexual experiences with intense hurt, humiliation, loss, and have conditioned myself to think of it with a kind of revulsion.
The work of recovery has taken many years of my life when I could have been more productive.
I want to add something here, though....about waiting till one is married. I guess I've had a LOT of experience sexually compared to many women my age (55). I would not want to wait till married to know the type of lover I was marrying. I can think of one man who was truly horrific in bed! Whew!~ We talked about marriage but his lovemaking was abhorrent!
My mistake was engaging in sex too soon in the relationships I've had. These were all longterm relationships which deteriorated over months or years.
I opened myself up to it, emotionally and physically, and would have been wiser to have waited much longer before allowing myself to be trusting and vulnerable.
Patty