So I'm Kelly and I've struggled with bulimia since 15 to the present of twenty-five. Back a year and a few months ago I was extremely sick due to gallstones. So I went to a few specialists, and ended up having surgery to remove my gallbladder. I was certain that after being that sick all the time that I would have been "cured". Or at least the urges would stop, or lessen greatly and I'd be able to conquer them.
Well for a few months I did really good. But all of a sudden something snapped and I don't know what triggered it but all I've done is tried to purge. I've been close to doing it a few times, gotten caught in lies about what I was doing, or why the water was running. I've gotten past the "questions" a few times, but now I'm trying to cover up lies and it hurts that i know what i'm doing and it's wrong. I just don't know how to get the urges to go away. I know purging is an unhealthy thing, but it is something that i have control over and its a form of punishment...i just don't know. please any words of advice would be great. thanks.

kelly