I think what your going through is definitely normal, and you shouldn't have to second guess yourself. I think you staying away from her, because she is a trigger; should show you...you want to get better and continue to stay away from that harmful behavior...which is great. That was a decision you made, and a good one at that. You might want to look into DBT...because self-harm is a primary symptom of Borderline Personality Disorder...DBT will help to deal with intense emotions, and impulses.