Still learning how this somewhat complicated discussion board functions. I have similar problem. I have outbursts that come very fast. When Im passing through normal I can control my emotions and think with a much clearer mind. I can keep to myself those destructive thoughts I would normally control and keep to myself. I asked a psychiatrist one time which is the real me and the bipolar part of me. His reply that was that this was an interesting philosophical question. Throw in my diabetes and the emotions that entails well its quite a ride. I found Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT) to be a help.CBT basically means thoughts create emotions, emotions create actions and actions have consequences. I learned about reframing thoughts so I can interpret issues in other ways. Brooding is big with me. Its like a thunderstorm building. All of this is easy to say of course but so much harder to do especially when working in a stress filled environment. I wish employers were much more aware of mental illness in the work place. My mistake has been believing that I can tough out my depression and still do good work. Im now at an age where I need to slow down and work in a much less stress filled environment. Its hard very hard and theres no magic event thats going to change things.