I'll admit my husband was a caregiver to me and I was his caregiver. It was exhausting, painful and down right scary at times for both partners. If this is how you feel both of you do not have enough support.

The best thing my pdoc told my husband (and me) is something like " Let me worry about her mental health, that's my job. If you notice X,Y,Z call me." It's hard because we've been the therapist, nurse, warden, pdoc, support group, and partner for so long.

Guess what? the reason why they are all separate fields is that's to much for one person to handle. It is unfair for you to expect that of yourself. Your not dealing with an intoxicated person or a person with the flu this is a life long illness. Shouldering it all on your own will cause burn-out, and possibly resentment. Being in a care giver role in this situation is a sign of a very unhealthy relationship.

Honestly my opinion you both should have separate therapists and a separate marriage therapist that all work as a team. For peace of mind having a treatment plan and crisis plan may help. I'm sure there are groups on-line and you can stick around but we don't have many on here that are without mental illness. A lot of us have partners / children with mental illness as well.