Thanks for the hugs, Costello and Seeker.

I found out my advisor wasn't who I thought it was; I thought it was the Director of Advisement, who was the one who signed me up for the classes. Turns out, my profile at the college said it was my Fundamentals of Drawing professor. With her help, I dropped the two graphics-related classes (although I really do want to learn Dreamweaver, Illustrator and Photoshop, and learn to be a professional artist, including digitally). I don't know yet if I will have to pay anything; my professor/advisor said they give chances to people who feel they're in the wrong major. However, having changed my major (to Liberal Arts/Humanities), I have a different advisor...I can go back to my drawing professor if I want, though. With this degree program, I can take my acting classes and other classes I want. My only thought is, would I be better off taking Theatre/Acting as a degree...but I'm not sure I want to take all the classes related to acting, like Shakespeare. I know--Shakespeare is a great thing to know if you're in theatre, but I am more interested in film than theatre. With the Humanities degree, I can study some of several courses. Still, it's to prepare me for a 4-year college afterwards, and I have mixed feelings about going to one. I liked Graphic Design in that it would ready me for a job in only two years. However, I forgot just how hard college is. I knew it would be hard, but it's really overwhelming sometimes.

Sometimes I wonder if I should be in college at all. I seriously need to lose weight and stop consuming so much sugar. I'm obese and my legs are very weak; if I fall down, I can't get up on my own. And now, I'm starting to feel it in my knees...whenever I get up from sitting, I can feel pressure on my knees. I get a little exercise in walking to class, but I would like to join a gym, if I could get myself to commit to it. I know I won't do that when I have college to handle, too. I'm too lazy and I've settled in my ways as I've gotten older. I'm just trying to be honest with myself: "Would you really try? Would you stick to it? Or would you just give up?" I ask myself, because I know I want things in life, but I don't think I have the strength of character and hopes I had when I was young...I don't think I'd particularly regret it if I chose to drop out of college. I know I'd be really happy once I was all through and had a degree, but I don't know if I can (or more accurately, will) stick to it.

My advisor told me something that's got me thinking: She looked over my old records from when I attended the college over 20 years ago, and I had taken English Composition 102 and got a "C". She asked me why I was taking it again now. I told her I didn't remember taking it before, and the Director of Advisement didn't mention it. If I'd known, I wouldn't have signed up for it again. She asked me did I just want to try for a better grade, and I told her that wasn't it, but I didn't mind taking it again, just as a refresher course. But I do kind of mind it, because I can refresh my English skills on my own (and they're not poor, even after being out of school for so long).

Sorry, got into a rant there. Bunch of stuff on my mind. Unrelated to the topic of this thread, I have to go and talk to a nursing lady about my mom's care once she gets out of the physical rehab she's in. I can't take full care of her, because of my OCD (and my boyfriend wouldn't let her live with us, even if I could deal), but I do want to make sure she's got somewhere to go. She doesn't want to go to Assisted Living; she just wants to go back to her apartment, which is owned by the Housing Authority. I won't put her where she doesn't want to go.