Can you find other ways besides reaching out to hospitals? You are being harmed by them. They don't promote recovery in a majority of cases, unless you have an Axis 1 disorder that responses quit nicely to medication.

Personally, I am not a proponent for psychiatric hospitalization unless it has a clear purpose that promotes recovery. Hospitals are not meant to be used as places to seek refuge from life's difficulties. I am not saying you are doing this, but your posts make me wonder why you go there, especially when you claim they are causing harm. Ambivalence?

I think your recovery would benefit from staying away from those places. Anyway, you have a history of trauma so why keep getting hurt. Sorry, I am so direct but it is obvious to me.

What do you hope to get out of this admission?