I can't tell if he is being manipulative. If he is, I don't think he is consciously doing it. It could be that his world feels so out of control that he is trying to control things like sex and love. I don't know...

He said that when I have episodes that I turn into a ***** and that it is hard to live with "that kind of person."

I just don't know what he wants, and I won't change myself anymore to try to please him. All that does is lead to depression and resentment. I have work to do on myself and I am doing it. He has work to do on himself and he has to want to do it. I can't make him. It is possible that we would have to be separated in order to do the work. I think we are going to sleep in separate rooms. I have a guest room/art room that has become a junk room, but I can clean it out and make it my own space.