Are you in therapy? I certainly hope so. In not, can you get into therapy? This is something that you shouldn't have to handle alone, my friend. You need to be able to open up to someone who understands all this, and who can help you to cope. A therapist would be able to teach you coping skills, but is also there to listen! We HAVE to have someone to talk to who knows what this is all about and has SOME compassion, however small.

If you're not in therapy, please make an appointment. Your medical doctor can help you with that. And if you are in therapy, please open up and tell everything. That's the only way to heal.

I wish you the very best. God bless. Hugs, Lee