Through meditations, I found common ground with inner critic. I found that since she is me, she wants what she sees as best for "us". When she told me, "you ruin everything, you can't do anything right", this is a mean way to say that she watches my unhappiness over and over. Like a ruthless jerk athletic coach, she thinks this is the way to get me to change my life so I can be happy. We had to have some conversations to teach her more effective communication skills. Now she is more kind, more of a cheering section, motivator, self help guru. It's not perfect but my self talk has improved, and so has my life and belief in myself and self esteem. We have slip ups but I keep working on it. The small improvements show me how so much is possible.