Your input has been very helpful. At least I don't feel like a freak. How can something so helpful, cause so much pain. Intellectually it makes sense that we need transference in a therapeutic relationship in order to work through the foggy mess that's in our minds. It makes sense and it's rational. BUT, intuitively the therapist (in my case of the opposite sex) is attractive, caring, empathic and insightful. Who wouldn't be attracted to him? He moved into my neighborhood (less than two blocks away) two years after I started therapy with him. I took it as a sign - yeah right. He originally comes from the same part of the country as I do - Kismet don't you think? We both like the color green. The list goes on and on. You get the picture. I dwell on the similarities and build sandcastles in my mind. I don't receive that kind of positive reinforcement from anyone else so I guess it makes sense that I would seek it out. But it's one-sided and empty and that's what's really wrong with it. I depend on this one-sided relationship to fill my needs and I don't want any other and therein lies the problem.