"And, with a background that includes a lack of nuturing as a child, I don't really know how to navigate socially or romantically."

Wow, unhapppy guy, you really got my attention there, becasue it sounds like something I could have written, and that's making me wonder if people with avoidance personality tend to clutter and hoard. Because that's me to a T. Look it up and maybe you will find it helpful. Avoidance personality is something that happens to people who were neglected as babies and very young children.

OCD. Hmm. I'm not a professional here, and haven't actually had a good ta;lk with any therapist about OCD, but I suspect you could be very well mistaken in what you think OCD is. OCD, I would think, would be about repeating any unhealthy behavior that you know you want to stop, but can't. I don't know that Ive been diagnosed with it, but I'm pretty sure I have it. And I don't wash my hands, either. I just get going on something and can't stop easily...wears my brains out.

To the nitty gritty: How do you feel when you clean away the clutter? Surely you have attempted it before....just wondering?

And hey, stop beating yourself up about your looks. Most of the world is ugly. (they are!). Attractiveness and looks aren't the same thing, either.

By hoarding, you are avoiding, big time. Literally putting up a second skin...a second skin of "stuff". I used to live in a homeless shelter and my room was nothing but that "second skin". And yes, it soothed me. Otherwise it would have looked like a, well, like a room in a homeless shelter, lol! That stuff gave me security, wierd to say. It wasn't healthy though, and it kept me from moving on. finally the crap hit the fan and something happened that made me get rid of about 1/2 my stuff...and oh, how freeing!! I moved out soon after. Who'd have thought??

So what is the next step that clearing the clutter away would lead you to? Having a lady friend? Why would it have to be a romantic friend? You could have just somebody over for coffee, like everybody else does. Be able to open the door without cringing...sound familiar? I live that way for YEARS and know how that feels.

You can do this. Bit by bit. Get help if you need to. Just clean off a tiny little spot today. One little spot. I have been there...you can do this!!