I didn't cope well either. Just like my mother, I became an alcoholic. In fact both my parents were alcoholic. So I followed in their footsteps. I was the only one of 4 girls who drank. So i was the black sheep -- I was always the black sheep.

I began drinking when I was 18, even tho it wasn't legal. I got married at 18, and my husband was 21 so he would buy the beer for me. I REALLY liked it, and would drink a whole 6 pack in no time. I'd only do this about once or twice a week. Slowly but surely it increased tho, and my husband began drinking more too. We started partying, and by the time I was in my mid 20's I was a full blown alcoholic. I drank for over 20 years, and HEAVILY.

I went thru therapy and was drinking while I was in therapy -- but I didn't tell the therapist. All I wanted to do was find out what was "wrong" with me -- of course if I'd been honest, it would have helped. I had a "nervous breakdown" and committed myself to a mental hospital. I stayed for 2 weeks. I didn't have any trouble not drinking during that time so I guess I hadn't gone too far over the line with drinking.

My psychiatrist MADE me write a letter to my mother regarding all the fights and arguments my parents did, plus the fact that they never paid attention to us. And she made me MAIL it -- the reply I got was that my mother basically pooh-poohed it all, and said she didn't think anything bothered us kids. Good grief !!! So I got NO validation at all. None.

I came to realize later that my parents gave ME what their parents had given THEM -- which was basically nothing! They couldn't give me something that they didn't have. They never learned emotional love or physical hugs, etc. They didn't know how to do that, and it was very uncomfortable to them. I realized that when I went to hug my Dad, and he wouldn't push me away, but he'd kind of feel very closed off -- yet he'd appreciate it if you can understand that. So instead of making him uncomfortable, I'd kiss him on the head. LOL And my Mother -- I'd just hug her whether she liked it or not.
Eventually they learned that it wasn't BAD to give & take physical love from their kids.

As for me -- I don't think I ever fully got over my childhood, as my sister was a huge abuser, and she's never acknowledged it, apologized, or given any explanation for it. She only abused me -- not sexually, but emotionally and physically. I recently wrote to her demanding an explanation -- but I haven't heard a word and don't expect to. But i think just writing to her helped to put an end to it. I doubt I'll ever hear from her again, whick is ok with me.

God bless everyone!!! And please take care of YOU. Hug, Lee