Everyday seems to be going slower and slower. It's all blurring together. I can't seem to feel the same way I used too. I don't know why, but I feel as though everything is my fault. For example; Today, I walked to meet my friends at an old store that is close to my house, she had to leave not soon after I got there and needed directions on how to get home. I told her how to get there but she soon got lost. Even though she didn't say it, I know she felt it was my fault.
I push myself harder than I should. At school, even making a B makes me feel like I'm a disappointment to my family, teachers, myself.. I don't know how to cope with the feelings I've been having. And I really have no clue as to how to cope with the suicidal tendencies I've been having for a while now. I don't feel like I can't talk to anyone, not that I want too.. people just confuse and upset me, not my mother, my father, my teachers, and I haven't even thought of a counselor .
so.. yeah.