It all started with a huge,busy and stressful day. I didn't want to be at work anymore.
I thought things would be better when I went home. Get to see my two little beauties and my wonderful wife. It wasn't. My family was great all night but there is something inside of me that is just red with anger. Something waiting to unleash. And I hate it.
My dog snapped at my 2 year old again and that was it for me. Big man that I am stomped into the living room and grabbed my dog and went upstairs. I put the dog on the bed and I lost it(in my head). I saw red and wanted to punch holes in everything. I wanted to smash my mirror and cut every inch of myself with it. I wanted to cut my own throat and bleed out on the floor.
I don't deserve the life that I have. I should be such a happy guy, but I'm not. I Cant find it. I can't find that spark.
I'm only here still because of my daughters. I love them so much.
Only recently have these feelings and thoughts been inside of me. I don't smile. I don't laugh. I feel like I'm just a whiny little ****.
Big sigh. Boo hoo. Woe is me.