Right now in this moment, you just need to take care of yourself...with or without T. Totally your decision. I'll support you no matter what.

If you do decide to return to therapy, I agree with MKAC and rainbow. You need to find a therapist who will meet you at your level. T has allowed me to write things I couldn't say. She might not let me do that now because I've made progress in talking about difficult things; but I think that once I get to the areas of greatest shame for me, I may need to write things again. Maybe for her to read at first, then maybe to read aloud to her, then hopefully out loud looking her in the eye.

I'm here to help you if you ever want to talk or vent.