This week has certainly been unpredictable, different, and stressful. My moods have been the worst I have ever seen them get. First of all, this has been some of my worst depression, and someone my highest hypomania. I can't recall many of the actual events now, but I do remember a few. I have gotten very ridiculous as well. As for the depression, it has made everything very difficult. I have a lot of trouble concentrating and getting my work done for school. At home, I will often find myself sitting and think about what needs to get done, stressing about it, rather than getting it done. I have wanted to just skip my homework and sleep a lot, but I have managed to get myself to get most of my stuff done. Most. I haven't been able to study very well, and I also end up doing some of my stuff in class because I wasn't able to complete it the night before. As a result a result of my bad study habits and fluctuating moods, my grades have gone down slightly. This morning, I wanted to cry the WHOLE time I was getting ready. I even almost skipped the day, but I didn't, then got super hypomanic soon after. My moods are a complete roller coaster. When I am home, I am usually in complete misery. At school, I always go back and forth between misery and happiness. When I am hypomanic, I laugh a lot. I start talking a lot, think of a bunch of stupid stuff, start coming up with plans, get very optimistic, and get super excited about everything. Today, I was so excited about getting to do work, I was even shaking. I start getting really loud and obnoxious and hit people a lot. I also push people into the walls, take and break their stuff, and smack them really hard for fun. Yesterday, I decided to squirt hot sauce all over the wall at school (by the way, it's still there so that shows how well my school cleans). I go back and forth between these things all day, also adding in a lot of aggravation too. When I am hypomanic, I feel like I am in control of everything, including my moods, and line I will be fine. But when I become depressed, it feels like I have no control, like I have took a big step back in progress, and like I am not going to succeed in my future. These feelings cause me to almost tell my parents, since the misery and pressure are so terrible. These last 3 days (the week so far) have been the worst, and I feel like at this point it is clear that something is wrong, and that if I go without help much longer, I will end up digging myself a hole that is going to be hard to get out of.