You're therapist was very wrong to have called the police. I'm sorry that happened to you, and I would definitely have an issue with trust if that had happened to me. Shame on the police for just walking in.

I would just throw out something for you to think about. You knew she was very concerned about you, and what she threatened.You said you did not have Internet to respond. Why did you not use your phone to call her or at least text her if you did not want to speak? Is there possibly a connection to the hug and kiss on the forehead that had you thinking this way, "I don't deserve to feel good. I'm a bad person!I'll don't deserve her. I need too much. I'm too needy! She'll hate me! She'll leave me! Etc."

TC, only you have the answer, not your therapist, not your mom, not your family, not me, and not the people on the forum. Your move TC.

I'm sending lots of hugs, and positive thoughts your way. And, I wish you clear thinking as you deal with some truths about yourself.