I wanted to reply to your post to offer emotional support. I can relate in part to what you have written. I have a job, but it contributes very much to my depression; I get up in the morning and then sometimes it takes quite awhile before I can force myself to get ready for work. Yet I can't give it up because I have to have the money to live. It's the extreme fear of being unemployed that keeps me going. But it keeps me sick. It's a vicious circle. Since money is an issue, one of your missions should be to look for free ways to make yourself feel better. From getting more exercise to getting enough sunshine, to taking advantage of any counseling or group meetings you can find; do all that you can to help yourself. If it seems overwhelming, do one thing at a time. Courage!