Unfortunately, it seems that your T's poor boundaries have allowed for this manipulation to continue - and possibly even to escalate. If I were to tell my T that I wasn't coming in, he'd say "OK, see you next week" - and he would've filled my spot. It's a business, and he shouldn't have to wonder whether or not he's going to be screwed out of income by a wishy-washy manipulative client. He's maintaining healthy boundaries by showing me that manipulation doesn't have a place with him. I am grateful for that.

TC, I hope you can work towards being a little less self-centered when it comes to your relationship with your T. Sharing that you're having conflicting feelings about wanting to attend your session is one thing, expressing that you want to quit is another - and being willing to explore those feelings to find out what's underneath is your work.....but constantly threatening to cancel or quit is just extremely poor behavior, IMO.

And one day, if she does give away your spot, I'd imagine that you would be quite angry at your T for it....which is absolutely absurd considering you canceled....but your excuse "but I've always shown up, even when I've canceled"....doesn't negate the fact that you canceled your session, or quit therapy.