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Old Oct 25, 2012, 02:28 PM
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NinaNina NinaNina is offline
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Member Since: May 2012
Location: Ottawa, Ontario
Posts: 153
Quote:
Originally Posted by lido78 View Post
There has recently been a little bit more to the above situation. On the very good advice of some of the folks on this site, I did not bring up the situation with my boyfriend again until recently (i.e., for about 3 months). I felt fine about letting it go with the orginal two minute conversation until his ex-girlfriend increased the frequency or her posts and began to reference things from their past. Nothing intimate or anything like that, but just statements making it clear that they shared some kind of past. Her comments were also very sarcastic at times and a bit rough.

I could see that he was not responding in any way publicly to her, and this made me question why she continued to post on his profile. So, I brought it up again. I just wanted to know if he'd been encouraging the contact with private messages or phone calls when I'm not around. Yes, I know...he's entitled to have friends and people in his life other than me...but, I'm not comfortable if it's a "private" friendship with an ex. I'm very open about my prior relationships and would introduce him to any one of them.

Although he said that he had not responded to anything she'd posted either privately or publicly, he did admit that about a year and a half ago she sent him an e-mail telling him that she loved him (this was about two years after they broke up and a year into our relationship). He also said that he did not respond in any way to the e-mail. I would LOVE to believe him, but I find it strange that she would continue to contact him after (1) he did not acknowlege her love letter (even to say "thanks, but I have a girlfriend" and (2) he continues to not acknowlege any of her public posts.

Maybe she's just lonely, or strange, or both. But, it makes me bit uncomfortable. I know that he cannot control what she says or does, but I'm just curious if anyone else thinks her behavior is a bit odd.
I would be in the same boat you are in thinking that her behaviour is a bit odd! And it would also get me to thinking that he has been communicating with her privately. Aaaand I would also not be okay with him having a private relationship with his ex! I, like you, am very open and honest with my boyfriend about who I talk to and my past. And like your bf, my bf is not as open and honest. I know he still talks to one of his dreaded exes and doesn't tell me, but I just try not to think about it

In your case, his ex is kind of rubbing it in your face, and that would bother me as it does you. My suggestion would be to bring it up with him, but not in a jelous way. Just let him know how you feel about her constant comments and such. Because it makes you uncomfortable and he claims not to talk to her, could you ask him to delete her as a friend? Again you don't want to come off jelous, but if it were me that is likely what I would do.

Sometimes...well most of the time...I really wish facebook didn't exist for reasons like this.

Good luck
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lido78