Do you actually ever re-read what you write?

Your "me me me, entitlement" is overwhelming.
You claim you behave as you do because you do not trust, but yet you talk, connect, and let your T touch you; these actions require a great deal of trust.

You make excuses so you can treat her poorly, to be disrespectful, and manipulative. You know you are doing it.
There is not enough money in the world that a T should continue to play your games and be abused by clients. She is a fool if she chases after you.

You are manipulating PC readers as well, because you know just as each time before that you will return. Same thing, different day. Make your T look like the "bad guy", cry out for attention and support, and then go back when T responds how you like or enough readers say "go back, she really cares."

Classic borderline "love, hate" or "worship, devalue" --- Look at your posts. See the pattern. Yes, your T is tired of your games, wouldn't you be tired of someone manipulating and abusing you?