Please don't be so hard on yourself. Stay safe in your own home, you deserve it.
You've failed no one!
Your children will get a certain age, be out of your household & THEY will have to decide their path.
Your home should not be a revolving door of chaos.
You need peace, for yourself & your younger son.
I would not speak so frankly but have been there with my son & tough love was in order.
My prayers are with you.