Unfortunately, I'm sure a bullet list would be easy to do based on the things you've posted....I would think that if you could imagine yourself on the receiving end of your behaviors, it wouldn't be too hard to see how impossible it is to tolerate.

But I'm hoping that your T is healthy enough and skilled enough in dealing with borderlines to be able to see through your behaviors and not let it affect her....other than being exasperated at maybe the lack of progress.