I have to go back to school on thursday, and i'm scared to death. Towards the end of last year was when things got really bad. I"m afraid that when i start again this year its just gonna start from where i left off.

I'm worried about stupid things like my classes and things of that sort. I feel so stupid but i am genuinaly scared. i feel like i'm gonna have a panic attack over this and i know its not worth it.

I can't seem to help it though. I'm shaking even as i'm typing this. I hate being there. I hate being around all of those people. i don't know i hate being scared of something. ANytime i am i usually just jump right into it and do it, but this time i just wanna curl up in a ball and not come out.

I feel like i can't do this. Not again this year. I mean whats it matter really anyways i'm not really all that smart. I never really have been. And nobody ever really notices me either so why should i be so scared...

i don't know i'm just not ready


sorry i'm whining