Scorpio eyes you have the great advantage of not having these habits as ingrained in you as I do. With the start of DBT you will learn how to change these self destructive habits that make our lives so intolerable. Why us, I don't know, I still struggle with acceptance that I will have this for the rest of my life. Yes I'm saying there is light at the end of the tunnel, check out the book "Sometimes I act crazy" it is written by a woman with BPD who is now living a great life. It's hard but we can do it.