I read that Ernest Hemingway suffered with bipolar disorder. There was a time when in a deep depression he tried to walk into a spinning airplane propeller but was restrained before he could complete the act. I used to write for a living. I like feature writing. What often works for me is to write short stories. I also often find the bp effect comes out in the moods I describe. It helps me alot to write from a source of outrage. Its a greta motivator. One of my short stories was republished three times and used in the curriculum in the eastern US. Now the spark is faded. Its so frustrating to see the possibilties but be to be so crippled at times. Anyway I understand where your coming from. Its a tumbledown.