Hi all

im in a real bad place at the moment, im struggling to cope and i have come here to see if anyone can help me.

I did my test and i tested high for mania, eating disorders, post traumatic stress and the highest of all at 94% for obsessions/compultions.

I spend my days either on a high or a massive low and my mood can change to a negative and depressed one very quickly with just the simplest of things.. like i could eat something then feel like im deressed or have a sudden low of mood for the rest of the day or i can hear the smallest of sentances or read a text the wrong way then im crying al day, life doesnt seem worth it or i just start to hate and doubt myself. It scares me that i cant cheer the f up sometmes and that even though i have good things in my life like a boyfriend who really cares about me, a roof over my head, a few good friends and i have now got a new job i just cant stop the feelings that i am loosing in life.

I went through a break up with an ex of 13 years in january this year and i feel guilt inside as i have moved on but i know he finds it hard to meet people and so will be alone for a longtime probebly. i stil care for him but im not in love with him anymore. ive always struggled with my weight and i am obese.. diet after diet and surgery didnt fix me either and i find that when i start to think positive again it works for a day or a week even but then i just fal down again and my days go back to crying for sometimes no reason whatsoever.
i have found a wel that the last few years i have started ticking and i find im stretching my shoulders, arms, wrists and face alot which makes me feel like a freak.. i just cant control it and it really hurts me after a while.

Im very confused and i dont know whats wrong with me. i just want to be normal like my friends and be happy with what i have.. i want to feel the sunshine on my face again and to be able to have a moment in my life where i dont just worry about every little things.. im so tired.

If anyone has any advice or can suggest anything they think may help i would really appreciate it. i have arranged to see my doctor but he always just laughs this sort of thing off.

Thank you

Special xx