((((canacrip) I am sorry you are strugging right now. I get it. Do you have a T that you can speak with. It is sooo incredibly important. Also, it's great that you are here.

This is your thread so I don't want to make it about me and my stuff but I can relate: I have felt completely and utterly hopeless. I stopped participating in life: I did not want to go out out. I didn't want to speak with anyone. I was totally isolated. And I had absolutely no energy. I could not do anything. Two days morphed into 8+ months that I did not leave my home. And I was deeply depressed and SI.

I finally called a T and explained the situation.

In hindsight, the Rxs that I was taking were helping me (i am sure without them I would have totally gone over the edge), but I wasn't in talk therapy : so all of the fears, sadness, anger, hurt...were bunched inside of me and kept getting bunched up with nowhere to go. I didn't have a soul to talk to.

Sitting down once a week with my T made all the difference.

And I received proper Dxs AND we worked on DBT and I became strong enough and cared about myself enough that I was able to separate myself from people who were not supportive of me - or my Dx.

I also found this great site and connected with a lot of wonderful people who understood and who were supportive and gave great advice, feedback, assistance. 24/7

You are not alone