jhunter,
i wanted to address your previous post. first of all..youre very welcome for the messages. second of all...to address the issue of helping your daughter....a good thing to know is that people with anorexia/bulimia are very good at denial and deceit. first of all, most people with eating disorders, at least in my experience, will stay in denial until something serious happens to them, to give them a wake-up call. for me, it was going into cardiac arrest in the hospital when i dropped to 72 pounds. when i was out of danger and aware of what had happened to me, i realized that i couldve easily died that day. second of all, when it comes to deceit, anorexics/bulimics are so very good at this. they will lie to everyone so that they dont have to eat or deal with food in any way. i personally think it would be good to talk to her mother-in-law about the situation to see if shes noticed anything changing in your daughters behavior, other than the obvious, that shes losing weight. if only you were able to talk to her husband about the problem, he might be able to give you a better idea of how things are around the house...i.e...how she acts, what she does when eating, does she seem more distant, does she seem to be carrying out unusual rituals/habits that arent normal for her, etc. you are right about one thing...the first step is getting her to admit that she needs help, however, she wont do this until she realizes that she has a problem with anorexia, which by the time she does admit to the problem, it might be too late. i think the key is to approach her as calmly as you can and express your concerns as gently as possible. dont bombard her with the news that you think she is starving herself to death. a more calm approach might be to sit her down and explain to her that you and your husband are concerned about her health, and that it appears that something is bothering her to the point of not eating. then see what she says. if she refuses to talk about the subject then try again at a later time. youre also right about one other thing...interferring in privacy can make you the villians. i can remember when i was first approached about my eating disorder, by my parents. god i went ballistic, and jumped all over them for accusing me of having an eating disorder. i denied every bit of everything they said to me. i then wanted nothing to do with my parents, because i felt they were being mean to me. personally, i think its going to take several people to help out in this situation...i.e...it may take several people expressing their concerns to her about her weight before she ever realizes that hey...maybe everyone is right....maybe i really do have a problem that needs to be taken care of. but first and foremost...until your daughter is ready to admit that she has a problem, she will most likely be resistant to any kind of help from you or anyone else for that matter. take things slowly, but not so slowly that things dont get taken care of, since she seems to be losing weight quite rapidly. please take care and keep me informed on how she is getting on.
sniffles