Hi Patty,
I'd opt not to get involved with the one that wants to "sew his oats" he's already telling you all he wants is hay. I am sorry you feel so traumatized by sex, however, you conditioned yourself to feel that way (upon your own admissions) you can undo it as well. How bout looking at this from another perspective? Sex isn't making the relationships, it doesn't equate love. I think some generations of women do believe sex=love, not saying you feel this way. Maybe you need to ask yourself why you jumped to fast from the get go??? Once you figure that out, you can take it from there. I think waiting (and I am not saying for marraige) makes the sex so much better, and if the partner turns out to be a turd in the meantime, well, I haven't opened myself up to poo poo. Put it in your mind you will NOT have sex until.....and that's it. Discipline! I don't kiss on a first date-my rule. I won't have sex with anyone until I can really feel that connection, and I know it's right for me. Even if it means a year or so, or not at all. I have been cast aside for not putting out. You know what though? That shows me what he was after to begin with, and his loss cause I really rawk-lol!!! You are in a really wonderful, free phase of your life, don't let what happened cheat you out of something that could be good. It's true, there are more fish in the sea, and by the way the sharks aren't all that hard to spot-they eat oats!!! hugs, Lisa