Button, I keep meaning to go back to your old thread about identity, and then not doing it. But this reminds me about it.

I know it must be kind of terrifying to look inward and feel empty because it feels your ex had so much control over you that when she left it felt like "you" left too. But I think this gives you a really exciting opportunity to re-invent yourself. There must have been things you missed about your old self when you were with your ex -- and there must have been things about your life with her that you didn't like so much deep down. Now is your chance to do what YOU want, be who YOU want to be. I know it's easier said than done. It's kind of exciting though!

This feeling that therapy makes things worse because you talk about crappy stuff is pretty common. And I know you're still mourning your losses from that relationship, and that you're going to T for help with this. But maybe you can also try to talk to T about finding yourself and who you're going to be going forward. What do you miss about yourself pre-ex? What did being with your ex prevent you from doing that you really wanted?

Just a thought.