My BPD is also EXTREMELY swayed by relationships, ANY kind of relationship. I had major BPD episodes with my husband for a LONG time while we met, were dating, and got married....over ten years!! Then, I was relatively fine for close to 20 years. Still had mercurial emotions and occasional explosive behavior, but he's used to that. I had no friends, felt kind of alone, but was okay. I could cope most of the time. Then, I decided to befriend someone. In EXTREMELY short order, less than a week, it all came back, and of course, it didn't last. Now, I'm slowly returning back to my "normal". I have a long way to go, but I'm hopeful that I'll eventually make it.