I have been giving all of this some thought lately. Everyone deals with various stresses in their lives from time to time. Life is not perfect and there will always be ups and downs and things that cause us anxiety and stress (ie; a troubled marriage, an important upcoming speech, fear of losing a job, health concerns for yourself or someone you care about, worrying about not being able to pay your bills, being homeless, etc).

While any of these (and many more I can think of) may be perfectly legitimate reasons to worry, in people such as ourselves, they become greatly magnified so that a hill becomes a mountain or the puddle becomes an ocean. Also, our minds tend to greatly exaggerate these worries through catastrophic "what if" thinking as we imagine every possible scenario where things could go horribly wrong and result in disaster.

Many mornings when I first wake up I just lay there for an hour or more with my mind racing through all kinds of "what ifs" and by the time I finally get out of bed I would be exhausted and it would take forever to start my day. With each frightening new thought would come a rush of adrenalin shooting through me resulting in an intense feeling of fear and panic. Sometimes I'd break out into a sweat. The "what ifs" would also include catch-22 scenarios where I would feel trapped with no way out. Then the panic would begin. Sometimes a mild worry would become a huge one or one worry would morph into 3 different worries. Almost always the various worries would line up in my mind as each took their turn tormenting me.

The daily routine/cycle is pretty much always the same. Spend all day in an ever-increasing (and very intense/growing) state of fear, anxiety, stress and deep depression. Go to bed miserable. Sleep in very late and wake up the next morning and lay there for a good hour recycling all the "what ifs" and not wanting to get out of bed. When I finally do get out of bed I am exhausted and have a difficult time starting my day and have zero interest in anything because I'm feeling so completely overwhelmed (like a deer in the headlights).

Today I have begun taking Celexa. I think I might be starting to feel just a little better. Time will tell. I hope it works. Thanks again to all of you who read this. It means a lot and is truly appreciated!.

- BlueJay49