I just got home from the hospital, again. But this time it was way worse. On Monday, I od'd and cut my wirsts. I talked to a crisis hotline lady for two hours while doing those things. She finally managed to get my location and called authorities. I was in the ICU for three days, out of it. I woke up on day three. One of the ICU ladies said I really shouldn't have survived this one. I went to a psych hospital on an M1 and spent two days sleeping. And today I got to go home. It's good to be home, but I'm so exhausted. Plus, I got an infection in my arm so I need to take antibiotics that make me very nauseaus.

I think I realized that yes, my life sucks, has always sucked, and most likely will always suck, but it's mine, it's the life I was given, and I better make the best of it. I feel a new calm, like I made my peace with it.

I'm glad I'm home, my kids are over the moon, the dog went nuts when I got home, and now I'm ready for bed.