Wow - some pretty strong responses here.

Well, so far you haven't cheated on your wife. Good for you. You're coming here for advice - GOOD FOR YOU. The friendship with the other women is a bit questionable considering your feelings for her. If you continue to see her I think you should only do so in public with groups of people around you. KEEP IT PLATONIC!!! And keep it from getting too intimate. You need to work on bringing intimacy (in all forms) back to your marriage... seeking intimacy elsewhere probably isn't going to help that!

Sex is very important for some people. And that's *NOT* a bad thing. Those of us who have had really negative sexual experiences have also developed some really negative feelings about sex and it's importance in life.

I'm not sure why your wife has not been feeling sexual - does she have a history of sexual abuse? Is it possible that she has hormonal problems (thyroid perhaps?) Are there problems in the rest of the relationship? Perhaps she is feeling unloved / unattractive?

I think couples counceling would be an excellent idea. You are bringning another human being into the world... you need to make sure your relationship is solid before that happens.

There are two people in a relationship - and both have needs that are valid.