You are not worthless. You're parents actions just prove that they are sick people, who need help themselves. Just because you can't give your self what you need and you know how, doesn't mean anything. If you're gift is helping other people get through the things that you've been through and still are, then thats it. If you know whats wrong but don't know what to do about it for yourself, thats fine. its not your fault. If you're meant to help others, that means theres someone out there who's meant to help you. There's nothing wrong with not knowing what to do for yourself, as long as you get someone else to help you. Getting help and not being alone can change alot of things. There are thousands of people in the world feeling like you do, so remember that you're never alone. And if your friend didn't care and thought you were a freak for being depressed, she wouldn't hae asked to help you. Don't shut her out.If she leaves because of your past and what you're dealing with now, then she's not worth. You have people on here who will be here for you,so you will not be alone in your fight.