I am still struggling with frequent (like 4-20 times a day) thoughts of SI. I told my therapist about it and she told me to call her if I was on the verge of cutting. I just feel ridiculous txting her if I am not going to do it but am just thinking about it vividly. I am in a much better place, but self-hate is still something that punches me so hard and dominates frequently.

I just needed to let it out. Love you all dearly.