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Thank you all... I missed this weeks appointment. I didn't mean to really, I just forgot at first than shrugged it off.
Everyone is right in not pushing away, it wouldn't do me any good. Especially since I was feeling alright the last couple weeks until my brother calls and all of a sudden it's been three solid days of anxiety again! Eck.
But I have trouble with this t. I have trouble with all of them really tbh. But this one always pushes on the DID aspect, talks about that the most saying "Well we don't have time to bs let's get to the real problems" or "we can't just talk about the weather when you come in, we have to dig deeper sometime" and granted I understand that but I don't know what more he wants from me. He says these things when we talk about my drugged out dad, even the day I was talking about my Grandmother who was about to pass away, and it has been difficult on me, I haven't dealt with it still because any time I try to it's too much. But he shrugged it off and went on to talk about the DID.
I get the reasoning and I get that therapy has helped tremendously in the last few months and I'm a ton better than I was, but I just don't know if t and I are the right fit for patient doctor whatever.
Good news though, I talked to my boss and although I'm 4 hours under the full time, she's still going to push through my insurance and I'll be insured in January. So hopefully I can get in therapy with them and be able to see other doctors.
There really is a lot going on and I just want to focus on the here and now for a bit. And t is out in surgery for the next 2 weeks, so it will be a month in between the last time I saw him and the next time I will see him. I guess we will see how I'm feeling at that point. I know I'm not ready to quit therapy, but I think I am ready for a break... I hope so at least.
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I'd lock my hands behind my head, I'd cover my heart and hit the deck, I'd brace myself for the impact if I were you.
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