I'm not sure I have dysthymia, but I feel like I've been living with it since middle school because since then I've always been uncomfortable.

I think my mood is a result of my philosophy and my beliefs. I can't change what I find true. At the same time, I do have ambitions that my mood makes it difficult to achieve. I have some trouble with social anxiety that I put a lot of effort fighting. Everything I do seems like I have to put a lot of mental strength behind, and more often than not I sabotage myself with inaction, trepidation, or indecision.

I generally have a lot of trouble being self-serving. I don't really like myself, but I think my judgement is accurate and not a put-down. I do acknowledge positive things about myself, but I just don't like the things I can't change.

Life for me amounts to a struggle for consolation and maintenance. I just wish it was easier, but I expect to be trudging along until my body quits. I don't know what I'm asking or what help I want to find. I feel blank.