Thing is, I know there are maybe's and nothing except death is final. But I'm not open to those infinite possibilities, nor do I allow myself to be... Thus the vow to stab myself in the heart. They bring with them, probabilities of more heartache, more emotional sludge, and from this angle,that is not acceptable.Kind of like meds and certain side effects, it's just completely unacceptable. So thats where the 'made my bed' part comes in. I hate what I chose, but the alternative is an absolute no-no...