I think pretty much the ladies have a unanimous take on what is cheating, infidelity, dishonesty and down right unworthy of our respect.

So it's been hard for me to process and cope with the issues I have with my boyfriend because I simply don't understand why he did what he did.

Call me nuts but, I want to rationalize his actions. Rationalize not justify.

What he did is still hurtful and a betrayal of my trust. But I think I want to understand why. I'm asking your opinion because we have tried talking about it but it turns into a fight or he simply tells me he doesn't want to talk about it.

99.9% of the women who know my story would support me and agree that what he did was awful and about almost the same percentage would tell me of course to leave him.

But what do the guys out there really think. Please give me a (sorry for the lack of a better term) no BS answer. I really want to know the male side of this issue.

So here's the story.

I found out that my boyfriend cheated on me. He said it was just fellatio nothing more, with just 1 girl. But it almost lead to the whole 9 yards with 2 other girls.

When I found out I was furious and crushed. At first he denied it but when I showed him the evidence he admitted it. We talked and I forgave him.

Cliche as it may sound... I forgave but never forgotten what happened. I feel traumatized and this is affecting our relationship.

It's been almost 6 months since I found out but it still feels fresh.

To make matters worse I recently caught him with porn on his phone. He knows that I don't like porn and that I don't want him watching it. I was abused by my ex, who did things to me he saw on porn. My ex even crashed my laptop because of whatever virus the porn he downloaded came with.

So... It's traumatizing for me... It's like my boyfriend is traveling to the same path like my ex did. I'm afraid that he'll become a pervert too.

We're not as intimate as we used to be because he's tired or he doesn't have time or he's not in the mood. So why does he have porn?

It's been hard that I barely trust him. But I stayed because my love for him is greater than my need to trust him. But I've been distant after the porn incident. I don't know how do I stay with a man I love who is starting to lose my respect.

So guys any thoughts on how do I get pass this or at least please help me rationalize what happened.

Thanks in advance.