I know it sounds ridiculous but other than this crap we have a good relationship otherwise. We work on a lot of projects together and have this bond that I've never had with anyone - not since I was a kid. Maybe because of that we are better as just friends if that is possible.

I know, I know all that other stuff overshadows anything else and I should throw him out like the sack of **** he's been. If it were easy I wouldn't be on here. I always told myself that cheating was the kiss of death to a relationship. I have always acted that way.

So yes, I question my self esteem for being willing to work on it.

FYI we are both in our 40's - he will be 50 next month. We are both professionals from good families. Educated. I realize I sound like an immature kid who doesn't know better and will learn the hard way.

I tell myself I am taking the mature approach.

No, as far as I know he has not been in contact with anybody he shouldn't be contacting. He has been upfront and honest about everything - almost to a fault. When he talks about interactions he makes sure I understand who he is talking about. He understands he has no leg to stand on and that he's the boy who cried wolf. Although I'm giving it a chance I have not made it easy. Not saying that makes it ok

As you can see I am confused

sorry for spelling/grammar. I'm using my cell