Im dealing with the same. I found out from my Dr. that the big break throughs in psychiatry were only recent. In the 1990s they found out more about how the brain functions then everything that was known before. I pity all those people who were institutionalized and went with out hope because there were no real meds to alleviate their pain and confusion at the time. I also realize despite my condition I am still responsible for my behaviour. It hurts to remember. There's no sugar coating that but despite I still have an improved life to live.