It has ben some time sinch I have posted anything or even ben on, but I find myself lost again my x is threating to call my phy and tell him I am a danger to my self so he will have me locked up again so one she told me that it relly sent my sprealing down hill fast now I have a bunch of new wounds and find my self siting here holding my tool woundering why not, why even try to not do it? I mean what's the point, I just can't quit. Even one I wasn't engaging in sh one I tryed to get rid of all my tools I ended up geting new ones with in like 2 houres. It is like if I am going to use it or not I have to have one on me or I have to go get one and use it. So anyways know I am siting here holding a tool and trying to find a reasion not to use it