Quote:
Originally Posted by sugahorse1
I've been in a similar position, but at the time I wasn't dx'd myself yet. I also think it can be worse at times, as women do tend to be more sensitive. Add that to BP that might not be totally under control yet, and it can be a real problem. Take this relationship slow. Don't dive in too deep until you fully understand her and can really talk about her BP. It sounds like she isn't in control of herself.
Mania can really hurt you badly. She needs to be open to being in a relationship and needs to see how she hurts you at times. Don't give up on it - just don't throw your entire heart and soul into it, because it seems like it is being thrown back at you every time she's manic.
And it's totally understandable that you weren't ok with the ex staying over - you were almost TOO civil about it
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Thank you sugahorse - I appreciate your reply. I know this question and concern has probably been raised a guzillion times on this board! I have read through some other posts to try to get an idea of things. Its hard isn't it? I can't imagine what she's going through. What does dx'd mean? Sorry to sound naive.
She sent me a set of texts last night - she went out to gig and was with some friends, but I don't think she's very close to them. She said she can't stand feeling like this and wants to be in her previous town - which is where people know her really well, and where her parents live. I asked to her to come to my house and stay here, because I was worried basically.(but I'm a good hours drive away)...but she text me and said 'I can't, I hate myself'. I was worried about asking her to come over, it frightened me to an extent, because I wondered if it was the right thing to say and if could handle what she may be like? Im in the middle of moving house too, so my place isn't exactly a peaceful haven right now. Anyway, the texts stopped and I asked if she was ok -but no reply and so I've woken up this morning not knowing how she is...
I think you are right in saying don't jump in and get involved. I tend to jump in and try to care for someone if I know they are hurting in any way and although that sounds nice, its actually something Im really trying not to do anymore because I'm not sure how healthy it is?
I just want to be there for her and I guess Im not sure how to be, or what to say. I just want to give her a big hug - i guess she can't trust me, we;ve only known each other a month at the most.