It was certainly an abuse/sexual abuse, very severe crime, I don't know if you you want to take any action against him but I think you should.

Your unaware ignorant/irresponsible parents are also to be blamed for letting this happen to you for such a long time. Even if you had your consent, it was non-concensual because you didn't have proper knowledge of things he did and you let and it seems you still don't understand. If I do any such thing to any immature relative of mine who has trust in me or is just unable to protest for not knowing about the things I'm doing, it's wrong and a great sin, people often fail to describe and take any action due to lack of knowledge.

Maybe you got something like Stockholme Syndrome that you have feelings for abuser. His feelings are for himself not for you , a few lovely things they(abuser) say/do to their victim is to pretend to themselves that they aren't doing anything wrong and that all happened with your consent (wrongdoers never want to admit they did anything wrong). You don't love him, you're just confused because you don't know the truth........ he never loved you either all the things he did was for his own sexual gratification because he saw/sees you(and other girls as well ) as a sex object only and not because he cares of you but won't admit and might stay the same cause he is addicted, he certainly has no understanding of being a friend or family.

Forget him and keep him away for now and rest of the things that's causing to mess up your life. Take care of yourself, when you are stable you would know what happened, what to do. You can try meditation/Yoga, it helps keeping calm and think straight. Good Luck.