I haven't been online often recently and am not familiar with the circumstances of your situation, but I do have a question: are you not able to talk to your mother about this? A letter seems a bit distant to me, and you need her input if you are close enough to your mother to feel she can communicate with you.

I've talked to another young person some time ago who had a similar problem, and she wrote a letter, too, but later regretted it because her problem was a real disconnect between her inner self and her mother. Bringing Brandon into the conversation might be helpful because he knows what you're experiencing.

My first thought would be that there's something wrong with your relationship with your mother. The major thing your mother needs to understand is that you feel you need help--the kind which a psychiatrist might give.

I hope you are able to finally resolve this and get the help you need. It is so important for your security and well-being.

You're a very smart young person to know all this about yourself and to have done research to try to learn more; not all young people recognize these feelings as being part of an illness.