I have been battling with depression since I was 12. Did'nt start getting help untill I was 23. I had my first child at 25 and my second at 30. My kids became my life line. I really don't think I would still be here if it was'nt for them. They are the reason for getting up in the morning. I try to keep a smile on my face. I don't want them to see me crying, which I do alot. Sometimes I tell them it's my allergies. I have not worked in 7 years and eventhough I do recieve benifits money is still tight. I have been considering going back to work but my doctors are telling me no. The constant voices in my head won't stop! I can watch the news and start crying! I can see a baby in the store and start up! It's so frustrating. When others around me are going thru stressful times I get upset with my self cause I can't help them! Why do I feel like I have to take on the world all the time? I hear a baby crying somewhere in my apartments right now and all I want to do is go and see if it's okay.